FM: The common perception is that when females say they go to Harvard, they are written off, whereas men are considered more attractive. AB: As a man who went to Harvard, I can tell you it didn’t do a hell of a lot for my dating life.Generally, the H-bomb, when it’s dropped, tends to change the interaction in some way. If somebody disqualifies himself from the outset based on that, he probably wasn’t going to be a good choice in the first place. I always say, Cambridge: surly people, inedible food, crappy weather, best year of my life. FM: What is the most rewarding aspect of helping people with relationships?Even the Bible has something to say about that: "For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken away even that which he hath." Seems kind of mean, but it's just the way of the world: wealth begets wealth. Because even if only one thousandth of one percent of the 6.5 billion people in this world are cool enough to be eligible for your companionship, that's, oh, 65,000 folks. To be able to take care of anyone else, you need to take care of you first. As a man, if you take on too much yin, you risk turning into an indecisive wimp, which is not necessarily appealing to women.So even if you don't have a companion, act as if there is an unlimited supply of what you want available to you already. That's enough dates to tide you over for a whole month. Simple, totally non-negotiable, and often neglected. 'Interest' means that you're signing up for your fulfillment and joy, not your pain. Having an open heart is great; just remember to keep your spine also.Since these were my dear friends, this absolutely killed me.
AB: The less other stuff there is to do in town, the more you’re going to just sit around and drink and party, so I’m going to say Princeton probably had more fun than we did, just by virtue of being in Princeton, New Jersey. This is the problem with campuses like Harvard and other very high-achieving, high-strung campuses—it’s that people become devalued. I mean, let’s face it: if you’re sitting there right now, you are proof-positive that every single one of your ancestors, going back to Australopithecus down to the very first amoeba, they got it on, at least once, successfully, with somebody, so it can’t be that tough. Anything that smacks of an absolute rule is not necessarily bound to serve you. FM: Feel free to decline answering this one: Do you have any personal dating horror stories that you would be willing to share? AB: In med school they had a class entitled “Clinical Hypnotherapy,” and being of a scientific bent I thought I’m going to go in there and heckle these cats because this is a whole bunch of nonsense. AB: I think my mom’s words were “My life has now ended.” But at the same time, she understands, and my dad has always been understanding. FM: You have a Master of Philosophy from Cambridge. AB: It’s mostly about courage, just being willing to put yourself out there and try a couple of new things..lots of people, hang out with them, go out on dates, go to all the formals, and be willing to extend yourself and put yourself out there and ask people out.
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